How to Talk to Your Partner and Tell Them What You Want

What does communication have to do with sex? Everything, it turns out.

Contrary to the popular mythos of just feeling it, a little verbal communication around the subject of sex can go a long way towards improving the intimacy between the sheets.

So bring those "I" statements to the bedroom and reap the rewards of sexual fulfillment. 

Find out how to talk to your partner about sex and tell them exactly what you want.

How to Talk to Your Partner About Sex

Talking about sex with your partner is not the buzzkill most people think it is. Sex communication is an investment in the health of your relationship.

It can improve intimacy by opening up gates to experimentation and play that you would never experience otherwise. Communication can also bring much-needed clarity to what you don't enjoy so much.

Here are three things to remember when it comes to sex communication:

1) Know Thyself

As cliche as it sounds, it helps if you understand and accept what brings you sexual pleasure. When it comes to sex, people are often so fixated on playing a role that they never really explore their desires. 

That dirty talk you sprinkle like sexual pixie dust throughout the night? It might just be making your partner cringe!

The point of sexual communication is not only getting what you want. Its also about learning what turns you on. If you're already confident in where you stand on specific aspects of sex, good on you! If not, use communication to uncover new sources of pleasure.

2) Cut the Chatter and Get Physical

If you want to understand how to tell him what you want in bed, try different styles of communication. Not everyone is verbal. Men are notorious for not being able to articulate how they feel in healthy ways, so it might take some physical language to get the convo going.

The vast majority of our communication is nonverbal, with the tone of voice coming in second, and the actual words we say coming in dead last!

So let your body communicate how to tell your partner what you want sexually. Put that hand or that mouth where it feels right for you, and make it obvious when something is going right.

3) Have Fun With It

Above all, have fun with communicating your sexual needs. It doesn't have to be some weird, serious intervention. Using communication as foreplay is one of the most effective ways to integrate essential subjects of intimacy into your lives.

Explain to your partner what you want as a form of fantasy, as though just talking about it turns you on. It might even be hot to express your desires when you're in the middle of sex since your boundaries are more open, and the oxytocin is flowing like a mighty river. 

Be Safe

When you learn how to talk to your partner about sex, remember that emotional and physical safety produce the best forms of intimacy. So get tested, and don't hesitate to use protection. Join our condom club, and you'll always be ready.